Week Twenty

American legend Slappy White once said that "The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job." So, my work day officially began at 10:17 a.m. Not good if you're a retail worker, administrative assistant or newspaper delivery boy, but not too shabby if you're a Somali pirate, professional poker player or lead singer of Guns N' Roses. And the last time I checked, those three professions were much more lucrative, meaning I am definitely on the right track.

It's the twentieth week and my how time flies when you're incredibly utterly hopelessly bored. It's been one month since my last day at Burson-Marsteller and during this month I have definitely seen a lot of Australia. This past week one of my mates from my previous holiday came and spent four fun-filled days touring Melbourne. Of course I had to be a good host and show Sylvain, a stereotypical French-Canadian hockey-playing drunk, that Melbourne was the best city in the entire world. I accomplished this feat by showing him the Royal Botanical Gardens, taking the Yarra boat cruise down the country's dirtiest river, and waking up too late to take a tour of the MCG. We also got lost twice, took the wrong tram twice and spent the first half of Tuesday waiting for me to get a haircut, which altogether shows I should not be counted upon to know this city nor to be a good host.

I did, however, treat Sylvain to delicious $4 pizzas at Lucky Coq, two beers at the Belgian and a night of reminiscing with fellow Contiki alums at Bridie O'Reilly's. Good fun with good people.

I also spent a good day of sightseeing with my favorite Irish former-colleague, where we visited the sprawling towns of Gisborne and New Gisborne, as well as the Hanging Rock Reserve, which obviously needs to change its name as there were no African-Australian tourists within a 50-kilometer radius (note that this is not the same owner as that of Megan's favorite "hangout", the Hangin' Tree Saloon).

Hanging Rock, a formation and collection of volcanic rocks about an hour northwest of Melbourne, was popularized by a book and subsequent film documenting the mysterious disappearance of several schoolgirls who picnicked at the site in 1900. Apparently three schoolgirls mysteriously vanished into the rocks, showing that even more than a century ago Australian girls weren't exactly the brightest stars in the universe.

Now that I've seen the infamous Hanging Rock, as well as Melbourne, Sydney and coastal Queensland, I'm wondering where I should go next. I have a diminishing savings account but a desire to see more. Although I finished my amazing Queensland holiday over a week ago, this past week was just as fun seeing parts of Melbourne I had never before visited and other parts I never knew existed. I'm running out of time before I have to go home, and I want to spend these weeks that I'm not working touring other local places. Next on my to-go list include (though I know I won't be able to accomplish all of them): New Zealand, Uluru, Tasmania and Perth - in that order.

Finally, I know a lot of you are wondering when I'm coming home for good. I'm purposefully being relatively vague as there are still several scenarios that can happen that would alter my plan. I have come up with a couple of different plans accordingly. I'm currently looking for opportunities in Melbourne, Sydney, New York and San Francisco, and really don't see myself in any other locale in 2009. Of course if things don't work out, then in 2010 I might expand that list to include Texas, Canada, law school, a gutter, an Asian boy band, Borders Books & Music, Syracuse and the Singapore Taxi Academy, as places I could picture myself twelve months from today. So as it stands, week 20 is in the books and the question mark countdown remains: Twenty weeks down, 32 to go...??

Week Twenty Summary:

Weather: It's supposed to be 39 degrees on Wednesday. That's CELCIUS. I want to jump off a bridge.

New observation: Something crazy cool better happen at Obama's inauguration for $20,095!

New activity(ies): river cruise, St. Kilda pier and the local Hanging Rock

New word(s): Ute (utility vehicle), throw a wobbly (lose your temper)

New people: the Kosters, the Coopers, and Joe's personal taxi driver

What I miss: the NFL playoffs, Family Guy, my U.S. phone book, Carl's Jr., Kings of Leon, North American bacon, my old iPod (the one with all of my songs :( ).