Week Two

This is my flat.

Today is Monday. It’s been 12 days since I arrived, 57 days before Melbourne Cup Day and 353 until my visa expires. Normally I like to start off each day by going for a walk down the street, finding various trees, looking up those trees and shaking them, and then I’d keep looking up into the leaves while extending my arms and hands - all in hopes of eventually catching a koala. Today, however, I don’t have time (and quite frankly I’m 0-for-142 in neighborhood trees thus far).

Today, I got my $93 dry-cleaning, enough Diet Coke to last me the week (48 cans), and a haircut at the local Edward Scissorhands, Melbourne’s version of a Fantastic Sam’s. And since my last entry, I got a monthly tram pass, a bank card and a job. All I need now is a cynical discontentment with Kevin Rudd and a pair of brown UGG’s and I’m practically all Aussie. Oy!

I decided to join the corporate practice at Burson-Marsteller, The Holmes Report’s 2007 International PR Agency of the Year. While I’m excited to get back into PR, I’m a little nervous at my job responsibility: to communicate with the Australian public. If I can’t understand these people how can I communicate with them? Really, the only subjects I feel qualified to discuss with Aussies are 1) why Brooke Addamo will win Australian Idol or 2) why Brooke Addamo is such a looker.

Twelve days into my stay and the only things I’ve really learned about Melburnians, Victorians and Australians are that they like beer, football and beer & football. One person I met loved Prince, another loved Jesus and another hated Prince and Jesus but loved Sophie Monk. I have a ways to go before I fully understand this public, but several of the individuals I spoke with gave me valuable insight. Attempting to use my non-skills in journalism and qualitative research, I decided to pose some questions to the locals. Here are their responses:

Q. What is a typical or stereotypical Aussie?

A. 1) fine, 2) an arrogant a*@hole, 3) trying to better our country but needing to work harder, 4) unappreciative of what we have, 5) fun and likely a bit drunk, 6) proud but good fun, 7) friendly, 8) there is no stereotypical Aussie – we’re a cosmopolitan of different backgrounds, and 9) intelligent but still learning, always wanting to improve our country and probably into having lots of fun.

Q. What do you love?

A. 1) Prince, 2) Jesus, 3) Sophie Monk, 4) for you to shut up, 5) footy, 6) Americans, 7) your mum, 8) the city and its nightlife, and 9) Thai food and women like that one right there.

Q. What can an American do to better understand the local culture?

A. 1) read the Herald Sun, 2) talk to strangers, 3) be open-minded, 4) go back to America and take rap music with you, 5) talk to people and listen, 6) drink, 7) drink and meet new friends, 8) go to the local festivals and walk around the different areas and suburbs, and 9) go to a hotel (pub), drink some Aussie beer and talk to all the friendlies.

So to sum it all up, some Aussies are very proud of their country while some believe there is much work to be done. Some are incredibly engaging and intellectual and others prefer to party and drink, yet all seem to have very strong opinions. Additionally, approximately 22.2% of the respondents hate me, which I believe means I only have room for improvement in the eyes of the locals. Two weeks down, 50 to go.

Week Two Summary

Weather: Still trying to figure out Celsius

New observation: Aussies watch a LOT of American t.v.

New activity(ies): Dance clubs that close at 5 and 7 a.m.

New food: French fries with gravy

New word: jim-jams (pajamas) & tracky dacks (tracksuit pants)

New people: I met a flamboyant 42-year-old straight man who drank his age (42 drinks) on Friday.

What I miss: The L.A. Times, Mexican food, ESPN, Liz Oh’s ability to say inappropriate things at inopportune times, Bounce Fabric Softener

from left to right - 1) my living room, 2) the local milk bar and tram, 3) my local reading material, 4) my week's supply of diet coke

Week One

Australia. Their toilets flush in the opposite direction, their citizens drive on the wrong side of the street and their September 1st is the first day of spring. As former Auckland-based singing-sensation OMC said, obviously describing Australia's blatant disregard for the norm, "How bizarre." Of course OMC, a proud New Zealander, was obviously biased against the country that has dominated the Kiwis in cricket, one of the countries' three major "sports". I, a proud American, would never be biased. I have arrived in Australia with an open mind, an open heart and a desire to at least temporarily become Australian.

Linda, my friend/host/flatmate/soulmate/fellow reality television addict and/drinker extraordinaire, has answered most of my questions about Australia and Australians that Wikipedia could not, and in a language Wiktionary was able to translate. (Note: It is also because of her that I now have a bank account, a mobile phone, a bed to sleep on, and a disdain for "Viva La Vida".) Other questions about Australians and Australia have been answered by meeting the locals, reading newspapers and walking around the city.

I'm proud to say that after one week, I have had no culture shock. Sure Aussies use something called the "metric system", but I am in an English-speaking country that for better or for worse, appears not so much American-influenced as Americanized. I live on the same street as a KFC, near a Blockbuster Video and next to several homeless individuals preaching about Christianity and booze - so basically I still live in San Francisco. There is no culture shock but there is one major difference: the cost of living.

Now this is not to blame on Melbourne being more expensive or San Francisco's cost of living to be low (as we all know, that is not the case). However, as a recent survey indirectly pointed out, the weakening of the U.S. dollar has greatly impacted the prices Americans are used to when making various purchases such as food, household goods and entertainment, in foreign countries. For example, I think most Americans would agree that $22 for dry cleaning a suit, $8.50 for shaving cream and $3.20 for a small bottle of Diet Coke is a bit expensive. (And for those readers who know me best, you will realize that that equates to $156.80 per week on Diet Coke alone.) Adjusting to this new cost of living will ultimately require me to cut back consumption of some of the finer things I enjoy, such as Red Bull and exported beer, but such are the sacrifices when you move to another country with no job security nor savings account. Other than controlling my expenses, my adjustment period has worked out just fine.

My first week is nearly complete and I am that much closer to becoming a (temporary) Aussie. I can find my way around a 1-kilometer radius, successfully used public transportation with only minor difficulties, watched one of Australia's most popular television shows, and attended my first-ever AFL match, a 2008 International Cup game in which Canada defeated Sweden by about 27 goals and 14 behinds. I am pretty well settled in my new hometown and have used words like "queue" and "reckon" more often than I would have ever thought. One week down, 51 to go.

Week One Summary
Weather: cold, but beautiful!
New observation: Aussies love Barack Obama
New activity(ies): Kräftskiva, AFL
New food: UDL Vodka Lemon Lime & Soda (no, it's not food, but it's delicious)
New word: dero (abbreviation of "derelict", a common description for certain Melburnians)
New people: I have four new Facebook friends, which is the equivalent of 0.8 actual friends.
What I miss: all of my great friends, my mom, college football, my bed, cheap diet coke